Slut

Kissing Brandon was a real eye opener. Or was that an eye closer? I can’t handle kissing someone with my eyes open. YUCK!  I can’t concentrate on the butterflies in my stomach when I’m up close and personal with someone’s pores.

Anyways as I was saying, this kiss was WOW!  While I may not be the most experienced kisser in the world, I had done my share throughout high school. However the past two years, the only person I kissed was Peter. This was on a whole new scale.  From the moment when I first leaned in, before I even touched my lips to his, I could feel this current sizzling between us. I was almost shocked when our lips did touch that there wasn’t a shock from the electricity. At first I noticed the firmness of his lips and the slight taste of the whiskey he had been drinking. It didn’t take long until I was lightheaded and forgetting everything around us. Even though we were in a loud bar, all voices seemed to disappear. All I could hear was the pounding in my ears from my racing heart. Suddenly Brandon pushed his hands into my hair and moaned.

And that’s when I remembered that I was in the middle of a bar. With a man I had only met moments before. Where everyone including my best friends were watching me essentially fuck a man with my mouth. And right in front of my recently ex boyfriend.

What I didn’t expect when I looked up was to see the shock in Peter’s eyes. He recovered quickly though, and his mouth twisted into a snarl. As he rushed to get by me, he crashed into my shoulder causing me to stumble. Glancing back at me he uttered “Slut!”

Immediately Brandon shot out of his chair, grabbed Peter by the arm and spun him around. Grabbing his shirt with both hands he pushed him against the bar and fumed, “What did you just say, asshole?”

Brandon easily had 4-5 inches on Peter, and his body was all muscle. While Peter wasn’t too out of shape, it wasn’t hard to see he spent more time on video games and drinking than on working out. However, while everyone else in the bar knew Peter didn’t stand a chance, he obviously didn’t get that memo.

Peter shoved Brandon out of the way and got in my face.  “I said,” Peter started in a very prickish (hahah It’s a word in my mind ok?!) tone, “SLUT! Because that’s what she is. We have barely been broken up a few days and she’s already out skanking around town.” Ummm wtf was his issue! We were broken up weeks, not days, and HE broke up with ME.

As I went to slap him across the face, I never got the chance. Brandon was able to yank on Peters shoulder with one hand, and with the other let out a punch that landed square on his nose. Peter went down to his knees with a yelp. From Brandon’s stance I could tell he wasn’t finished with him yet. There was look of pure rage on his face. Any other time this would scare me as I hate watching people get hurt, even when deserved. However having someone stand up for me, when I felt abandoned was what I needed at that moment. Even though I knew Tara and Chelsea would never leave me, this was different. I felt protected.

Anyways, just as Brandon lunged again some bouncers arrived and pulled him back. They quickly were escorting both the guys outside when it dawned on them that if this moved outside, things were not going to be pretty, especially on Peter’s behalf. I guess they took pity on him as they took him to the bar and handed him a rag and some ice. 

I guess some people don’t learn though. As soon as the stars spinning around his head cleared enough, he spotted me and started sprouting off again. Calling me down to the lowest and going on about how much I hurt him. Again, seriously WTF? While I certainly wasn’t feeling anything but contempt for him, his attitude was a complete switch from his normal personality. Luckily for me, at that moment Tara and Chelsea came running up to me with my clutch and phone, signalling it was time to leave. Considering I had just put on not one, but two shows for the bar, I decided now would be a good time to make an exit. Tara grabbed on of my arms and Chelsea swung around to take the other. As she did she quite forcefully hit Peter’s arm causing him to jostle the make shift ice pack he was holding against his bleeding nose. He screamed like a child, and let out another string of curses. Chelsea grinned at me. Man I love that girl!

Making our way outside, we ran into Brandon. Apparently he’s quite a regular at this bar so there wasn’t going to be any repercussions for punching Peter. 

“Well,” he started. “I think we are now past the point of a casual encounter. How would you like to come back to my place so I can get some ice on this hand? I’d suggest another bar but I really don’t think I’m ready to fight for your honour again so soon.”

I just looked at Brandon. I would never go back to someone’s home that I just met. Especially someone who looked so brooding and dangerous. Especially not someone who looked so brooding and dangerous because they just messed up my ex boyfriends face. Especially someone who was hotter than hell, and I knew that nothing but trouble followed him around. 

As I tried to come up with any reason that this was a horrible decision, Peter came out of the bar (closely guarded by the bounders I might add) and glared in my direction.

Looking up at him from under my eyelashes I uttered, “Let’s go!” I turned to look at the girls who were standing there with their mouths open in shock. I winked at them, and took Brandon by the arm and walked the opposite direction of my loser ex.

Meow

We decided to go all out for our girls night. Normally we head to one of the college bars or a dive – hey cheap drinks are mandatory for the college student. Tonight though, we decided to go to one of the more upscale bars and somewhere with a new scene.

As soon as Chelsea came home from work we filled her in our plans. We ordered in pizza, and pre drank while we got ready. I must say we cleaned up well. Chelsea looked amazing in her wine coloured bandage dress with cut outs, Tara had on a light blue sleeveless form fitting dress with a deep vee mesh insert and I finally settled on a White Free People dress

 

It wasn’t something I would normally wear, but Tara’s comments about my body earlier left me feeling a little more confident than normal. I had had been eyeing this dress up for a while but couldn’t justify it. Luckily just last week there was some major mid season sale and I was able to grab it online before anyone else. Even though my stomach needed some sunshine, I was lucky enough that my legs were still pretty tanned. Hopefully the dark lights of the bar and shadows of the cut outs on the dress would hide my paleness. I decided to pair the dress with some aqua coloured pumps to add a burst of colour. Not sure about you but one sure way to boost my confidence is with brightly coloured pair of heels. I always seem to have a jump in my step when I wear any. Chelsea did my hair in loose waves and I have to admit I looked good.

Arriving at the bar though, that wave of uneasiness hit. It’s always weird to go out after being in a long term relationship. You forget that you are allowed to flirt. It almost feels like that first day of school or a new job, where you feel like you are outside looking in.

We quickly grabbed one of the only tables left and decided on drinks and placed our order. As we waited for our waitress to come back we did a bit of people watching and tried to figure out what guys were single. 

“Ohhh what about him!!”, Chelsea squealed. We turned in the direction she was referring to and noticed a hot guy, blonde, with shoulders to die for. He was well dressed and smiled as a text came through his phone. I think we all melted a bit at him smile, but then we groaned. If at all possible an even hotter man joined him at his table. When he leaned over to peck his cheek we realized we were out of luck.

For the next twenty minutes or so, Tara and Chelsea pointed out various different guys but I just couldn’t seem to get into it. “What’s wrong?” Tara questioned me.

“I just can’t seem to get interested. Every time I look at a guy, I just think what’s the point? He’s just going to hurt me like Peter.” I was disgusted with myself. I wanted to be happy again, and deep inside I know that us breaking up wasn’t the end of the world. He was never my soul mate, and from time to time I questioned if I was just being with someone for the sake of it. Even still, no one wants to get dumped.

“Honestly Al,” Tara said, “you need to forget about his ass and have some fun. We never told you this, because well, we didn’t know how….”. Tara looked at Chelsea and then continued. “You haven’t been yourself for a while now. I know you think you loved Peter once but he truly wasn’t that great of a guy. Some of the crap he pulled was bullshit. In fact, you should have been the one dumping his ass. Mark my words, no one else is going to put up with him and it won’t be long before he comes crawling back. Be happy you don’t need to be around that douchebag anymore!”

I just looked at my best friends with my mouth hanging open. I think both of them were waiting for me to explode and accuse them of not supporting me. Instead though, I started to laugh. The girls looked at each other, and then me, and then they started to laugh as well.

Chelsea pulled her chair closer to mine and hugged me, kissing me on the forehead. Tara, not wanting to be left out ran over and hugged me from behind. Only it didn’t work so well because she was so short. Instead she lifted up our arms and inserted herself into the middle of our hug. Then she looked at us and roared “MEOW!!!”

A long time ago, one of our guy friends, Tyler noticed our initials spelled out C-A-T while we were out bowling one night. Ever since then whenever something particularly funny or stressful happens one of us will shout out “MEOW!!” just as a reminder we are always in this together. 

We quickly snapped a few selfies and group pics with our cat faces and posted them to Facebook and Instagram. It didn’t take long before the comments started rolling in. I couldn’t help notice how a lot of attention was directed my way and how good it was to see me smile again. I quickly changed my screen name to ALLYCAT and posted #single and ready to mingle, MEOWWWW!!

Just as we were about to order more drinks, our waitress showed up with a bottle of champagne and three glasses. “Compliments of the ridiculously hot man at the bar! And let me just say between us, he smells as good as he looks ladies.” She set the bottle on the table before we had a chance to reply. There was also a note.

As I went to glace at the bar, Chelsea hissed “Play it cool Alya!”. I ducked my head back down and Tara opened the note. It read:

“It looks like you lovely ladies were celebrating. Hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty of sending this over to help. PS – shoes that draw attention to the beautiful woman wearing them is sexy – Brandon”

“OMG!” Chelsea commented. “That line is so cheesy! Besides us women can wear any shoes because we like them, not because we need to be noticed!” I forgot to mention but sometimes Chelsea goes a bit defensive when she is hit on. She’s so beautiful but unfortunately people treat her like an object and forget she’s got a real brain in her head.

“So should we send it back?” I questioned.

“No!!!!” both Tara and Chelsea yelled. Ok, so I was clearly confused. I looked at them in question.

“Alya, he may be an ass but he is fine.”  Tara claimed (we had snuck a peak as discreetly as we could). “You need to move on and learn to flirt again. This guy is the perfect chance”.

I started to protest but they were having none of it. “Look Alya, you look fantastic tonight. You are young, confident and sexy. Ok, maybe not confident yet, but you will be. Go on. March yourself right over there and thank him.”

I grumbled but they were right, and more importantly, the few drinks I had were kicking in. I slowly stood up and tried to stall. Instead Tara gave me a friendly shove (ha, some friend) and sent me in Brandon’s direction. Unfortunately for me, he chose that moment to look at me so he knew I was coming his way. No backing out now.

Slowly, I made my way over to him. It may have seemed like I was trying to be sexy or seductive, but in reality I was just trying to keep my legs from giving out. I finally made my way over to him. I went to introduce myself and say thank you for the champagne. Somehow though, in some twisted, fuck up act of fate, instead I grabbed his upper arm and blurted out, “I’m single!”

At first, Brandon just looked at me. Then his face broke out in a cocky grin and he stated “Well that’s good news!”

I became super embarrassed and started to blush. “I…I…mean…what I meant was…I’m not in a relationship. I mean my ex dumped me. I’m singling…I mean ready to mingle and single.” Seriously why couldn’t I just shut the hell up? I was like a Youtube video that was buffering and just blurting out random words. Two girls who were beside us at the bar were trying, very unsuccessfully I might add, not to laugh.

Finally I took a deep breath and tried again. I bit my lip and looked at Brandon. “What I meant to say, before my brain stopped working was that you are right. We were celebrating. We are celebrating the fact that I am single. Mingling was not in my plans. Well it was, but not in that way!” Oh God! I started rambling again. I could feel the colour of my skin changing. No need to worry about the pastiness because now I was bright red. 

“Well then”, Brandon interrupted my impromptu spaz session as he stood up and then leaned forward to shake my hand. “My name is Brandon, it’s nice to meet you.” I looked up at his profile and realized just how tall he was. Easily 6’3 with dark hair that was just so perfectly falling onto his forehead. Even though he was wearing a suit, it was easy to see his muscular body underneath. But the real clincher was the pair of eyes that were staring back at me. He had those bedroom eyes that always seem to be undressing you even while having a simple conversation. Although, those eyes were now looking at me questioningly.  Suddenly I realized he was waiting for something, and the light bulb went off.

“Oh..I’m Alya!” I finally responded. Honestly, I just wanted there to be an earthquake, a flood, hell even a good bar brawl, anything to distract from just how bad this was going. Unless I can find a boyfriend who’s a mime, I may be single for quite some time.

“Well, Alya” Brandon began, “how about you give me your number so I can call you sometime. Perhaps, anther time when you aren’t so flustered”. I heard the girls behind them and knew there was no coming back from this disaster. 

“Honestly Brandon, I’m flattered but I’m not ready to date right now. Even though we are celebrating, I need more time.” Tara and Chelsea were going to kill me.

“How about you take my number anyways and call me when you are ready?” Brandon reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a business card and handed it to me. Even though I knew I would never call him, I took the card anyways.

I turned around to head back to my friends when suddenly something caught my eye. Peter was heading my way and he looked like he wanted to talk. What the hell was he doing here? We specifically picked this bar because no one we knew came here. Especially not Peter nor his friends. I felt like I was trapped. I wasn’t ready to deal with his. I did the only thing I could think of.

I turned back to Brandon who was sitting at the bar and said, “I think I’m ready now!" I slid between his legs, wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me for a kiss. Giving it everything I had, I pushed my tongue into his mouth and felt him kiss me back. He pulled me in closer and kissed me deeper.

 

Welcome Back Alya

“Bitch, get your ass up! Don’t make me tell you again!”

I groaned at the voice yelling at me and pulling off the blankets. My roommate, and one of my best friends, Tara stood all of five feet tall but she was a force to be reckoned with when she was on a mission. And today, I was her mission.

Glaring at me as we played tug of war with my bed sheets, she finally let go and put her hands on her hips. Her long honey coloured hair was pulled back in a pony tail and her face free of makeup. She was wearing pair of purple running shorts, a coral tank top and running shoes. Stalking over to my dresser she yanked out a pair of black shorts and an aqua sports bra. She quickly threw them on my bed, then added socks and sneakers.

“I’m not telling you again, Alya. Get up, and get a move on! No more moping, no more crying and no more being buried under blankets thinking about that jackass while you ignore everyone. Today we are getting you back to the land of the living, with or without your permission!” she declared.

I looked at her, ready to spout out some excuse as to why this wasn’t happening. My mind wandered back to last night and to how embarrassed I was when they found me on the bathroom floor. I hate being wrong – like I literally think the world is ending when I had to admit I made a mistake. But Tara and Chelsea were right. I needed to snap out of this funk and move on. The angry, ready-to-get-her-life-back woman who peeked out yesterday during the cleaning spree was slowly creeping back in.

“Fine!” I huffed, “but I am NOT wearing a sports bra! This tummy doesn’t need to come out to scare the world. I haven’t exercised in weeks!” I quickly began to change and Tara glanced my way.

“Ummm Alya, sweetheart…I don’t know how to tell you this..” she begin. I started to get nervous for what she was about to say. “I really don’t advocate how this happened, but take a look at yourself. Three weeks of barely eating and living off of hot tea, and well, damn girl, your body is smokin’!!”

Shocked, I opened my closet door to look in my full length mirror. My mouth dropped open as I stared at my reflection. All my life I more leaned towards the solid look rather than slim. I never let myself put on too much weight, but it was always a struggle to keep my weight balanced.  Especially while in a relationship and being in college, so many social gatherings involved food and drinking. It was a constant challenge to not get lazy and stay in bed the extra hour in the morning, and instead go to a class or for a run first thing. 

Tara dug through my dresser and tossed me a tshirt. I glanced up at her confused, “I thought you said, I was “smoking”!”

She laughed and stated, “You are but the past month spent in your cave has left you looking like a ghost. Don’t want to burn that pasty skin! Now get a move on” she exclaimed as she slapped my ass on the way out.

Later on that afternoon, Tara and I returned home and flopped on the sofa. I had to admit, that run made me feel so much better. Feeling the sunshine on my skin made me feel alive and ready to change things up.

“What time is Chelsea off?” I asked her. Chelsea was our other roommate and another best friend. She was also stunningly beautiful, with long wavy dark hair, enormous green eyes and legs that never ended. She often spent weekends doing local modelling jobs or engagements to earn some money. Nothing fancy; just working trade shows, grand openings and at clothing stores. Chelsea always felt slightly embarrassed that it was her looks that got her jobs, not her work ethic but she had to admit the money was good so she was able to work a lot less hours than a normal part time job. This helped leave her a lot of time to study.

“I think she said she was modelling some clothes for a website for that new clothing boutique Danny’s Closet. She should be home anytime if it all went ok. Why?” Tara questioned.

A smile formed on my lips. “I think we need a girl’s night. A welcome back Alya celebration if you will. I need to drink, party and let loose”.

“Yes, yes, YES!!!” Tara shouted, jumping off the sofa. She ran over and hugged me. “I’m so happy to have my friend back! Tonight we are going to dress you up as the hottest skank on campus, get drunk, dance and get you laid!”

One Blue Toothbrush

“I just don’t love you anymore, Alya.” 

“I just don’t love you anymore, Alya”.  Those words just kept repeating over and over to Natalya – Alya for short. It had been three  long weeks since Peter, her boyfriend….well ex-boyfriend now, had dropped that bomb on her. No matter how Alya tried to forget the pain for even a moment, that one sentence just kept repeating itself over and over, haunting her day and night.

It’s not like Peter was prefect. In fact, he was far from it. He could be cold at times. He often cancelled plans with her to hang out with his boys. More than once he hinted that her weight, which she struggled with, was slowly creeping up. Although he would never come right out and make a direct comment, he would do little things to put her down. They would go out to eat on a Friday night and he would wait until she ordered a cheeseburger and fries, and then he would roll his eyes at her, and order a salad and a plain chicken breast.

Alya was never sure why she put up with it. She knew better than to allow people to walk over her, use her and to disrespect her. A lot of people in her past probably didn’t treat her all that well and she learned to get over those relationships and move on. So why was this any different?

Ok there was that first Christmas when they were together and neither had much money, or a car. Alya was living in a smaller town outside the city with married couple she was friends with, trying to save on rent.  Sadly they had gone back to their hometown for Christmas, leaving her alone.  As soon as the early morning Christmas festivities were over, Peter called a taxi so that he could come spend the day together so she wasn’t alone. He even brought her a massive teddy bear as a gift. Completely impractical, and overwhelmingly cheesy, but she loved it. They spent a great day together cuddling and watching the Disney Christmas Parade on the tv. Well until she ate some dodgy left overs and ended up with food poisoning – but that’s another story.

Rewinding through past memories she remembered all the good times they shared. How he always let her pick the restaurant. Peter taking her to a theme park even though he wouldn’t get on the rides. Buying her perfume for no reason.  Singing along to the radio in the car as they drove around aimlessly. Hanging out with their friends and for once not feeling like the third wheel. Cuddling up on the cold days, dreaming of the future. So many memories came rushing back, that it felt like an avalanche she couldn’t escape from. 

Alya glanced in the mirror and realized she was crying yet again. She was a complete mess. It was a vision similar to what every girl sees after a night of hard core drinking – with makeup smeared all over their face and hair that had just a few hours before had been perfectly styled  that was now a mass of tangles and knots. Only there was no makeup and it wasn’t hours before that her hair looked great. In fact Alya couldn’t remember the last time she even ran a brush through it.

Suddenly something inside her snapped. She had enough moping and living her life in a trance. Out of nowhere all the good memories she shared with Peter were gone. Instead she remembered every rotten, miserable, inconsiderate thing that he ever did. Grabbing a trash bag from the kitchen she began to fill it with every single thing that reminded her of him. Clothes he had left behind, pictures of the two of them, gifts and trinkets he had given her. All of them went into the bag. She stripped the sheets off her bed and shuddered. How long had it been since she washed them anyways? His scent still lingered and she had been unwilling to let that go. 

Alya threw open the curtains to let some air in and then went to town scrubbing every part of her room to remove all traces of Peter from her life. Once her room was immaculate, she didn’t stop there. She went into the living room she shared with her roommates Chelsea and Tara, and continued her cleaning binge. Only when she was satisfied all traces of him were gone, did she realize she was dripping in sweat and in need of a shower. She headed to the bathroom, stripping her clothes along the way. Just as she went to step into the shower she glanced at the bathroom vanity and noticed his toothbrush besides hers in the holder. The tears came back as if they had never stopped. Alya sank to the floor, and sobbed.

That’s how Chelsea and Tara found her hours later – asleep, wrapped in a towel and holding one blue toothbrush...........