Now I Know

I followed Brandon outside, ready to start yelling the moment we were past the front door. Before I even got the chance he started in on me.

“Jesus fuck, Alya! What the hell was that?” he fumed. 

I stared at him open mouthed. Fury rose up in me and I let it loose.

“What the hell was that? What do you mean, what the hell was that?” I shrieked. “Why would you let her speak to me like that? In fact why did you bring her to my work? Most importantly, I thought we were together. How could you do this to me?” 

By now the tears were streaming down my face. It was one of my biggest flaws. As soon as I got in an argument I cried, even though I tried so hard not to. I looked at Brandon for some answers. I prayed there was some reason why tonight happened.

“Alya, we were never “together”. I’m sorry if that’s the impression that you had, but you came to that conclusion on your own.”

“So if we were never together,” I questioned, “then why did you take me on a date or buy me flowers?”

He shrugged. “I saw the way you acted after the first time we slept together. I knew you needed to feel like you weren’t a whore. If I wanted to get in your pants again, I needed to play your game.”

My head snapped up. “My GAME!” I hollered. “What game? You pretty much just admitted that you knew I didn’t want to just be a fuck buddy, especially if it happened again, which it did…and you manipulated me! You know how messed up I was about Peter calling me a slut and you totally took advantage of me!”

By this time I was pretty much screaming at him. I felt like someone was standing before me that I didn’t even know. It hit me then, that I really didn’t know him. I made him into someone in my mind and assumed my fantasy was his reality.

“Oh come on,” Brandon snorted. “You don’t really think there was something between us do you? You sucked me off in an alley way for starters. You slept with me hours after meeting me. I run my own business Alya – I’m not going to ruin my image by dating with a common slut!”

“You sick son of a bitch!” I raised my hand and slapped him across the face. I don’t care for violence but I would have given anything to be strong enough to inflict some pain.

“It’s one thing to say that I misunderstood what was going on between us, but to call me a slut when you were the other half of our exploits is so messed up. At least I was in it blindly, thinking it meant something. You on the other hand, knew you were using me. You saw me as nothing but someone to use for your own pleasure. You call me a slut but you were the one sticking your cock inside me…so what does that make you?”

I was pushing my finger into his chest with every point I made, and he made a move to grab wrist. Luckily before he was able to grab me, Gary was able to step between us and push Brandon back towards the wall.

“Alya, are you ok?” he asked, looking me over. My hair had come out of the ponytail, the makeup had run all down my face and I was shaking. I have no doubt I looked pretty messed up.

Before I had a chance to reply Brandon spit out, “She’s goddamn psycho! Another chick spreading her legs and then crying about it.”

Gary punched Brandon in the stomach. As he doubled over in pain, Gary went to strike him again.

“No!!” I screamed. “Stop it! Don’t hit him!”

Gary looked at me with a look combined of confusion and disappointment. I can’t blame him really.

“Can I talk to you, for a minute?  Alone!”  I pleaded. Gary focused on Brandon with a look that ordered him to not move. He took me by the elbow and we moved a few steps away.

“Are you on crack?” he hissed at me. 

“No. Please, just listen to me!” I whispered. “I’d love nothing more than for you to kick the crap out of him but I know him enough to know it won’t end will for you. He will press charges and come after your job and the bar. He’s so used to getting his own way! He won’t take embarrassment well.”

“As much as I think he’s a lowlife scum, he’s sort of right.” I continued. “Plus he never did anything to me against my will.” I hung my head down in shame. I knew I did nothing wrong per se, but I did move to fast and more importantly I also ignored my best friends advice. 

Gary looked at me for a moment and then walked back over to Brandon. “I think it’s time for you and your friends to leave. I will get someone to go over and get them. You are not welcome here!”

Brandon tried to push past Gary and go back inside but Gary wouldn’t budge. Brandon started shouting his mouth off, asking if he knew who he was and how he demanded respect. Getting nowhere he threatened Gary’s job and claimed he was going to sue. When he still didn’t get his way, he started making a move towards Gary.

Without saying a word, Gary pointed up towards the roof. Brandon paused, and then looked up and saw a camera pointed down at us. “If you cause a scene, we will release this tape. I’m sure the media will have a field day with a PR guy pushing a girl around and then hitting a bouncer. I suggest you take my advice and leave.”

Opening his mouth to argue, Brandon growled “Fuck you!”

Then miraculously, the fight went out of him and he gave up.  He stormed past me, knocking me off balance his body connected with mine. Gary started to go after him, but I placed my hand on his arm. 

“Just let him go.” I said. “I’m ok, he didn’t hurt me. I need him out of my face.”

Walking back inside, I rushed past the bar. Liam saw how dishevelled and upset I looked and tried to stop me. Instead I kept going until I locked myself into the staff bathroom. I sat on the edge of the toilet and started to sob. 

After a minute I made myself stop and took deep breaths until I was calmed down. Unfortunately, we were already understaffed. There was no way Grant was going to let me go home early. I went and got my purse and fixed my hair and face as best as I could.

I peeked out onto the floor to ensure Brandon’s party had left. When I confirmed that they had, I took one last deep breath and headed out. Ignoring everyone, I fell back into my shift, running on auto pilot. I refused to talk to any of my co-workers, just stating I was fine. I saw when they give me funny looks but I didn’t care. As soon as we the night ended, I closed my till, tidied my area and then clocked out, not even bothering to say good night to anyone.

Welcome To Chester's

Our place was starting to look like an emergency shelter. There were sleeping bags, cases of bottled water, bulk food items, blankets, and so much else. We had decided to start gathering everything we needed for the camping trip ahead of time. I was beginning to think we were going for a month, not just a weekend. 

All three of us had the day off, so we decided to organize what we had and figure out what else we still needed. By the time we were done the house looked just as bad, if not worse, with piles of stuff all over the place.

We agreed we deserved a treat for working so hard and decided to go out for dinner and drinks. After we got dressed up and did our hair and makeup we headed to one of our favourite restaurants and snagged a table on the patio.

We began teasing Tara about her texting relationship with Anthony. They hadn’t met up since the night they met, still only talking via phone and text.

“I think I’m done.” Tara sighed. “I’ve tried to make plans to hang out but nothing ever comes from it. I think it’s time to move on.”

“Well at least you know he’s not just using you for sex!” Chelsea chimed in.

I wasn’t sure if that was a dig at me or not but I didn’t feel like arguing so I let it go. I hadn’t heard from Brandon again since I ignored his text last night as I wasn’t sure where we stood anyways.

Trying to change the subject I asked the girls if they had come up with any good dares yet for the truth or dare game.

“I’ve been hearing Stephen, Gary and Liam talking about dares at work. I’m praying I don’t choose one of theirs!” I said. “Gary told me his was to smell the feet of everyone in the room and rank them from best to worst.”

“EWWWWWWWWWW,” shrieked Tara. “I’m so not doing that!! Can you just imagine how nasty that will be especially after being outside all day and no shower?”

“You will have to if you are on my team!” I declared. We had decided we were going to split into three teams, and you got a point for every truth or dare you completed. The losing team would we dressed and posed by the winning group, with the pictures being posted to facebook.

“Maybe I can sneak in a few kissing dares!” Tara winked. “Now that I have given up on Anthony, I need someone new to play with. Alya, didn’t you say Liam is coming?”

I glared at her, but really what could I say? He asked me out and I turned him down. I am still hoping things with Brandon are ok so I had no reason why Tara couldn’t hook up with Liam. I sure didn’t like the idea though.

We finished up the last of our food and drinks and headed home after a quick toast by Chelsea. “Here’s to good drinks and great weather. Hopefully there is lots of both next weekend!”

…………………………………………

Saturday I took a little extra time getting ready for work. Even though being behind the bar was hard work, I liked to dress a little sexier. Sometimes the customers can be pigs but I felt safe from their drunken gropes when I was in my own little blocked off area. I did my hair and added a little extra volume, and did my best attempt at a smoky eye. I still needed practice but I was getting better.

I checked my phone again when I was done. Checking my phone was beginning to become my obsession. I hadn’t heard from Brandon so I had sent him a few flirty texts. I didn’t even mention his text about coming over. Sadly there was no reply. I figured I would just go over to his house on Sunday when I was next off.

When I walked into work, it was in utter chaos. The place was packed and everyone seemed to be rushing around. I threw my stuff into a locker and clocked in quickly. Making my way to the bar, I saw my manager Grant and asked what was going on. Apparently, a few people called in sick, plus there was a huge game on and no one scheduled extra staff. It didn’t help that the group who closed last night didn’t restock anything.

I spent the first hour just trying to refill everything and do as much prep work as possible. I hate even others slack on their shift and it screws everyone else up. I always make sure I leave the bar ready to go for the next person. Once everything was looking better and replenished I jumped in to start making orders. It seemed like there was a list a mile long, of drinks needing to be mixed. Nights like this are horrible. Sure they seem to go fast but you spend the whole night trying to play catch up.

Suddenly there was a huge crash and a scream.  I looked over to see what had happened but there was a crowd forming and I saw other co-workers make their way over so I went back to work. I continued to try and catch us up, making drinks as fast as I could.  Stacy came over to drop off another order and told me what happened.

“Apparently some chick spilled her fries all over the floor and didn’t bother to tell anyone or clean it up. Cassandra was making her way past the table with that massive group drink order you just  finished and she slipped on the food and fell on the floor!”

“Oh no!” I cried. “Is she ok?”

“I’m not sure. They carried her into the kitchen so I haven’t had a chance to check.”

Sadly, I admit that even though I hoped Cassandra was ok, I was concentrating more on how that huge order was going to need to be re-made. I sighed and started pulling out some glasses.

Moments later Grant rushed up to me. “I’m sorry Alya, but I am going to need you on the floor. We are sending Cassandra to the hospital for x-rays so we are down another server. Things are quickly getting out of hand. We are calling all staff to see if anyone else can come in but for the moment, I’m going to cover Liam at the door, he will move to the bar and I need you to start getting food to tables.”

Moaning to myself, I changed places with Liam and headed towards the kitchen. It’s not that I hated helping out when needed but now I much preferred the bar.  I remembered the hair I had spent so much time on, and sighed as I pulled it into a quick ponytail. I grabbed a tray, got a rundown of what food needed to go to each table and headed out. Racing as fast as I could, I tried to get the orders out as quickly as possible. It was really hard to do when I wasn’t the one who took the order and had to slow down to figure out who got what. It didn’t help that most tables still didn’t have drinks or condiments. 

I felt like I was in quick sand. The more orders I brought out the more there was. I felt like I was finally getting into a groove when I was able to put in my own orders, but then another huge crowd of people arrived. I wanted to go lie down and have a nap. I was covered in drops of food that fell as I was rushing around. I was sweaty and quite sure my smoky eye was now melting down my face. 

“Alya, I just sat two more tables in your section. I’m sorry kid, just do the best you can,” Grant apologised as he raced by me.

I grabbed some glasses of water from the bar and headed over greet my table and make sure they already had menus. As I walked over I took a sweeping glance of the table which looked to be two couples. 

“Hi! Welcome to Ches…” my voice stopped, caught in my throat as the person I was closest to, turned and looked up at me. My mouth hung open in shock and I just stared. It was Brandon. 

I felt the heat rush to my face as I tried to understand what was going on. I told myself not to panic. Maybe this was family or old friends. I mean, I hung out with lots of guys, right? Perhaps they were clients?  As I quickly looked at the girls though, I could tell by the way they were dressed that this wasn’t some casual gathering. They were a bit older than me and dressed to impress, not a wrinkle in the clothes or a hair out of place.

Struggling to say something,two thoughts raced through my head. One – why would he take someone else to the bar I worked at? Conversations raced through my mind as I tried to recall if I had told him where I worked. Now I wasn’t sure I had.

The second thought that I had was that I knew the other male that made up this foursome. It was Clarke – Brandon’s friend who I meet at the pizza place.

Before anyone could say anything, the girl sitting beside Brandon snapped her fingers at me. “Excuse me…this table is filthy! Get it cleaned right away. And take that water away – I want a bottle of champagne asap.”

I looked up at her. Did she really just snap her fingers at me? As I went to reply she cackled. “What’s the matter princess? Haven’t you ever seen a guy this hot? Well he’s mine, go pounce on someone else.” 

She slid even closer to Brandon, placing her hand possessively on his thigh. Her friend smirked at me, clearly enjoying my awkwardness.

“Hey I remember you!” Clarke blurted as he squinted his eyes at me, trying to place me. Suddenly his eyes lit up “Alicia! No, Alyssa..no…”

“Actually it’s Alya,” I said through clenched teeth. I felt like I was in a dream. This whole time Brandon just sat there, not saying anything or even acknowledging me in any way.

Now it was the bitch beside Brandon saying my name, trying to recall something. As the recognition happened her lips twisted into an evil sneer as if she stepped in shit.

“Ahhh Alya! The baker of the cookies. How pathetic. I saw your little offering to Brandon and the note telling him you were thinking of him. Sorry hun...that may work on high school or blue collar boys but Brandon here is a man. I think what I can offer him, is a little bit more to his standard.” She posed and looked at me with a cockiness that I wanted to slap off her over made up face.

I so badly wanted to punch her but instead directed my attention to the man sat before me. “Brandon?” I called his name, forcing him to look up at me. I expected him to be embarrassed or least slightly worried that he had been caught. Instead he looked at me like I was a piece of trash or someone he didn’t want to be associated with.

“You heard the lady,” he stressed the word lady, pausing to look at me, and then continued. “A bottle of champagne, and clean this table, it’s a disgrace.”

“Excuse me?” I challenged him. I was absolutely livid, maybe perhaps mostly at myself for not listening to Chelsea. However at the moment Brandon was going to be the focus of my anger.  

“Listen little girl,” the bitch started. “You heard him. Bring us back something to drink. While I get this is just a shithole sports bar, find us something expensive.  Not that you would know anything about taste…”

I swear I saw red. “Well Brandon certainly doesn’t seem to have a problem about my “taste”, especially as earlier this week  I was laying spread eagle on his dining room table, with his tongue buried between my legs.”

Clarke spit out the water he had just taken a drink of and I swear both girls looked like they were having strokes. Brandon finally showed some emotion and hissed “Shut up!!” at me.

It was too late for that. “What’s the matter, Brandon?” I taunted. “You never asked me to shut up when you had me screaming your name. In fact, you told me you liked it.” I knew at this point I was probably just making myself look worse but I didn’t care. 

Brandon stood up and grabbed me by the arm. “We need to talk! Outside. Now!” 

I glared back at him, not moving. He may be used to having control and being able to boss people around but not this time. However, I suddenly became aware that we were starting to attract attention. I sure as hell didn’t want to talk to Brandon, but this was my work place and I didn’t need to cause an even bigger scene. Against my better judgement I followed him as he stalked out the door.

I'm Sorry

I was in misery. Neither Chelsea nor Brandon texted me.

I had to work Tuesday night and by the time I came home the house was in darkness. I thought about waking Chelsea up, but I didn't want to make it worse. The night was spent tossing and turning, trying to fall into a deep sleep. By the time the morning came, I was exhausted. By the time I got up, Cheslea had already left.

As I was standing in the kitchen waiting for some toast to pop up, Tara came running through the door.

"Hey, just grabbing my phone," she called over her shouder as she dashed towards her room. "I forgot it this morning when I left, and I don't want Anthony thinking I'm avoiding him!" Ever since that night at the bar, Tara and Anthony had been texting. Between both their schedules they hadn't been able to meet up, but Tara was hoping they would be able to hang out soon.

"Sorry, I have to rush right back out," Tara said. "If I'm late for class they will have my head." She was taking a summer class that would help give her a little edge when it came to looking for jobs once she graduated. Tara wasn't always the best student so she wanted to stay ahead while she could.

I watched her rush back out the door, and wished she had time to talk. I wasn't sure if she had spoken to Chelsea or not. She didn't seem to be mad at me but then again maybe she just didn't want to be in the middle.

Even though I had never made the first move with Brandon, I decided that I should text him. I felt like he over reacted but I did feel bad that he got hurt.

Alya: Hey, I just wanted to check in with you. I hope that you are feeling better. Maybe I can cook for you as a way to make up for it?

I  didn't expect a response for a bit so I put my phone down. Not long after though my phone beeped, signalling a text.

Brandon: I'm fine. Busy at work. Have a good day

I frowned at my phone, not really sure how to take that message. I was happy that he was talking to me and not ignoring me. At the same time though, the message was quite short and not like our normal flirty texts.
 

I decided to make some cookies and deliver them to Brandon with a little note. For a man who had enough money to buy whatever he wanted, there was nothing I could think of that I could afford but that he would also like. Well perhaps aside from sex, and I wanted to see if we could branch out relationship out a bit from that. Besides, I would bake double and leave the rest for Chelsea. It was a cheap ploy but I was desperate.

I whipped up a double batch of my Gooey Chocolate Butter cookies that everyone loved. Seriously these cookies are so good. I found two gift boxes and tissue paper and arranged everything nicely. Then I quickly wrote a note to go with each.

Looking at the clock I noticed I didn’t have a lot of time left. I quickly cleaned my mess, jumped into the shower and got ready for work. I left Chelsea’s cookies on her desk so I know she would be the one who got to eat them, not just someone random who stopped by. For Brandon’s I wanted to drop them off with the doorman at his condo on my way to work. I just hoped he remembered me and didn’t think I was some crackpot trying to poison Brandon!

Work was fairly busy for a Wednesday night and I was happy because that meant I couldn’t spend the night obsessing. Management was happy with the way I progressed so I was officially a full bartender now. A while back I had taken all the relevant courses and such to be prepared and  I was thankful for that. This also meant I could pick up shifts in either position now so that was a great help with trying to work lots of hours. 

When the night ended, we spent an hour or so relaxing before we made our way home. There was some brief conversation about the camping trip which everyone was looking forward to; although some of our friends were disappointed they couldn’t make it. That’s one shitty part of working at a bar – it’s really hard to do stuff outside of work because someone is always working. I think that’s why we liked hanging around when we closed for a few drinks.

As we were leaving, Liam offered to walk me to my car. In all honesty this isn’t a big deal, and I never thought twice about it. Usually we always try to ensure the girls leave in pairs or with one of the guys to ensure safety. A few years ago, one of our waitresses refused to serve someone as they were too drunk. The next night, the guy was waiting for her and assaulted her. Thankfully someone heard her yelling and the police were called before it got too bad. Now the management takes no chances.

“Are you ok, Alya?” Liam questioned, looking at me as we walked outside. “You seemed awfully quiet tonight? Or perhaps it’s just me you aren’t talking to?”

I smiled at him to show I wasn’t mad or uncomfortable. I have a feeling he would be a great guy to talk to but it felt too weird to bring up Brandon. “I just feel bad because I was a bitch to a friend this morning. She hasn’t texted me since and that makes me sad. I hate fighting. I even baked her cookies as a peace offering.”

“Aww, I’m sure she will forgive you, it can’t be that bad.”

I grimaced in response, thinking of just how bad I treated Chelsea.

Trying to make me feel better, Liam joked “Well, I can offer to let you get mad at me if you promise to bring me cookies as well! Just no oatmeal raisin! Yuck!!”

Looking at him in mock horror, I gasped “You shut your mouth! Oatmeal raisin doesn’t get the love it deserves!”

We continued to banter until we got to my car. He waited until I unlocked my door, and then pulled me in for a hug. “I’m sure it will all work out. Don’t stress!”

He let go, waved goodbye and headed across the parking lot. I kind of wished he would have hugged me longer. He smelt so good – seriously how is that even possible after working all night? I was glad things weren’t uncomfortable between us.

When I got home, I was as quiet as possible. Sometimes I can be loud and clumsy coming in late and I didn’t want to give anyone a reason (another reason?) to be upset with me. Stepping inside however I noticed Chelsea lying on the sofa with her laptop, sleeping. I guess she fell asleep watching something. I was debating on if I should wake her up so she could go to bed, when her eyes opened and she looked at me.

I waited to see how she was going to react. She stretched, turned off her laptop and asked me what time it was.

Hmmm…well at least she’s talking to me. I told her the time and then went and sat beside her. My eyes started to well up as I began to apologize.

“Chels, I’m so, so sorry!” I started. “I really didn’t mean what I said. I was having a bad morning and I took it out on you.”

She looked at me for a moment and then said, “You really hurt me you know? All I ever want is for you to be happy, so of course I get concerned when I fear someone is using you.”

I started to interrupt with how Brandon’s not using me when she interrupted me.

“No Alya, just listen to me for once” she said getting exasperated. Then she calmed down and spoke quieter. “Watching you hurt over Peter sucked. Long before you even broke up, we could see how down you were when he treated you poorly. You are like a sister to me so when you are hurting; I just want to protect you.”

I hung my head as she continued. “For you to say that I was jealous really was like a slap in the face. I have been considered a “boyfriend stealer” or snobbish before, simply because other people think I’m pretty or conceited. I know sometimes I get attention but I don’t ask for it. In fact I wish people would actually take the time to get to know me rather than to judging me. You know all of this. So for you to tell me I was upset Brandon “choose” you over me, you have to know how angry that made me.”

“I know,” I replied ashamed. Everything she said was true. Chelsea is one of the nicest people you will ever meet, yet she is constantly put down by others. Everyone assumes she’s out to steal their man or that she thinks she’s better than everyone. In fact though, she’s one of the most down to earth people I know, and didn’t have a mean bone in her body.

I looked her in the eyes, and softly. “I really have no excuse. I was horrible to you and I’m sorry. I know you aren’t jealous. Even if you were, you would never show it. You have always been there for me and I don’t want that to change.”

Reaching out, I hugged her, thankful she decided to talk to me and allow me to apologize. She hugged me back, and then pulled away.

“Act like that again, and I will kick your ass!”

We both decided it was time for bed. After I took my make up off and changed, I checked my phone one last time to see if there was a text from Brandon. I was shocked to see he had sent a message about ten minutes ago.

Brandon: Feel like coming over?

I was so pissed off. No “sorry about this morning” or a thanks for the cookies. Just him, wanting me to come over. Obviously part of me wanted to go, to make sure we were ok and that he wasn’t mad at me, but I wanted more than just sex. Plus I had just made up with Chelsea, and while she had no say in what I did, I thought it may be rocking the boat too much if I went.

Finally I decided to just ignore the text. Perhaps it was just the cowards way out but I figured it was best. Hopefully if I didn’t come running he would put some thought into why, and apologize. Being the amazing person that I am, I would gracefully accept and then we could move forward. We would show everyone this was real and that he wasn’t using. Assuming everything was sorted out, I was content, and drifted off to sleep.

Times Two

I woke up on Tuesday morning and realised I was alone. I smiled remembering last night. I ended up arriving just as the pizza did. Brandon had already paid for it, so I just tripped the guy and knocked on his door. He swung the door open and raised his eyebrow as he took in my trench coat and stilettos. 

Taking my hand he led me to the table without saying a word. He opened the pizza box and handed me a slice. He lifted me onto the table, and then placed an arm on either side of me. I took a bite of the pizza, unsure as to what else to do. His intense stare was unnerving. He grabbed my wrist gently, and guided the pizza into his mouth, taking a bite and then threw the slice back into the box. Running his hands down my jacket, he undid the knot and opened the panels. His gaze deepened as he took in my naked body. My pulse quickened and I swallowed. So far neither one of us had said a word, and that was making this so much more erotic. 

He reached up and slipped the material off of me, laying it out like a blanket behind me. He pushed my legs apart and sank to his knees.

“Lay back,” he ordered. I didn’t hesitate to do as I was told. I grasped at the sides of the table as he worked his way up my legs, inside my thighs and then into my centre. I couldn’t help it. I pushed myself up onto my elbows so I could look at him. At first all I could see was his dark hair falling into his eyes as he explored every inch of me. I started to buck with the pleasure but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. He raised his eyes up to match my stare. Lowering his head he picked up the pace and buried his tongue inside me.My breath caught in my throat as my body started thrashing under him. I fell back onto the table and let the waves take over me.

I jumped up out of bed. The flashes from last night made me ready for another go. I wanted to surprise Brandon in the shower. I stood up and made my way to the bathroom. I quietly opened the door, and tiptoed to the shower. I silently pulled back the curtain and took in the site of his toned body, covered in soap with water cascading down.

Reaching in, my hand made contact with his back. He yelled and jumped, the jerk reaction caused him to slip on the wet floor. While he never actually fell, thank God, he did go over on his ankle, twisting it pretty badly.

“Fuck!!” he roared. “God damn it, Alya! What in the hell are you doing in here?” He continued to wince as he washed the last of the soap off and then turned the water off. He was angry, and not in a sexy, broody kind of way. More like a beast had awoken.

I moved in closer to help him navigate his way out of the tub. I wasn’t sure how much help I was going to be considering our size difference but I felt so bad for the pain I had caused.

“Move. Now!” he hissed. I stumbled back against the wall as far as I could go and gave him some space. When he stepped out and fully put his weight on the injured ankle, his face contorted and he sucked his breath in. As fast as he could he sat down on the toilet seat and yanked a towel from the rack.

“What in the fuck were you doing?” he snarled. “No one asked you to be in here or to join me!”

Tears started welling up in my eyes. “I’m ss-s-sorry.” I stuttered. “I thought you would enjoy it if I surprised you.”

“You thought wrong.” he stated bluntly. “Never assume you know what I want or when I want it.” He stood up and grimaced. 

“Brandon, I’m so sorry” I started again. I moved in to help him to his bedroom but he put his hand up to stop me.

“Just go.” he said. “I need to get ready for work so it’s time for you to go home. I assume you can see yourself out, seeing as how I can barely walk!”

I stood there stunned. I know he was hurt but it wasn’t like I did it on purpose. He has never spoken so harshly to me. To be honest, I was a little bit scared of the man standing in front of me. He seemed so dark and controlling. I knew it wouldn’t be long until the tears were going to start so I hurriedly got dressed and grabbed my things.

As I paused at his bedroom door, I watched him hobble around trying to find get into his clothes without falling over.

“Are you sure I can’t help you?” I couldn’t help but try once more.

“I think you have done enough.” he replied in a low tone. I ducked my head and turned to leave, but not before I heard him muttering about why this is why you never let them stay the night. I hopped into the elevator and made my way to the lobby, praying I could find a taxi quickly.

………………………………………………………………………

I made it home and let myself in. Just as I was about to walk into my bedroom, Chelsea came out of the bathroom. I guess I scared her because she screamed and fell back against the door frame. Looks like I’m two for two today, with surprising people.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH,” she cried clutching her chest. After taking a few deep breaths to calm her beating heart, she questioned what the hell I was doing.

“I thought you were in your room sleeping! Are you just getting home? Did you spend the night with Brandon?” she fired the questions at me. Coming closer she went to ask something else then stopped.

“Ayla, are you crying?” she came up to me and hugged me. “What’s going on? Are you ok??” She began looking me over, looking for signs of blood or injury I guess.

“I’m fine Chels,” I lied. I just wanted to go to my bedroom and be alone. 

“No you aren’t,” she accused. “Tell me what’s going on. Please!  You have me worried.”

I hesitated but knew I had better fill her in. Otherwise she was going to think I was being abused or worse. If she confided in Tara, Tara was likely to jump to some conclusion and either phone the police, a lynch mob or worse, my parents.

I sat down on the sofa and curled my legs under me. I told Chelsea about Brandon texting me last night and the events that led me to leaving his place in tears.  By the time I was done, she just stared at me. Then she began asking questions like how many times I had seen him recently, if we went on actual dates and how he treated me. When I got to the part about how he would not text me for days, Chelsea shook her head.

“Alya, what the hell are you doing with this jerk?” she demanded. “Don’t you see that you are nothing better than a booty call to him? Since when did you let yourself be treated this way? I know Peter acted like an ass more than once, but you always called him on his bullshit.”

I started to get defensive. “I’m not a booty call, thank you!” I said, outraged. “Brandon’s just busy. He has a real job you know!”

“Seriously, Alya? You are going to defend him and his behaviour? You are putting yourself right back into the same situation as you were with Peter, only this time you aren’t standing up for yourself!” 

She crossed her arms and glared at me.

“Whatever Chels. You don’t get it. I love how he makes me feel and how exciting it is. I’ve never felt like this before!” I tried to get her to understand where I was coming from.

“So what? You think you are in love with this dick?”

“Maybe I am,” I retorted. “Why do you care? Shouldn’t you be happy for me?”

“Alya, I think you are just in love with the idea of being in love. Just because Brandon is different from Peter doesn’t mean he’s the one for you.”

I couldn’t believe Chelsea was trying to tear my relationship with Brandon apart. She should be excited I found someone. Who cares if we fought or had bad days? Didn’t everyone?

“Maybe you’re just jealous!” I threw at her. “Finally someone is paying attention to me and not you. Everyone always talks about how beautiful you are and how wonderful. Maybe you hate that he choose me over you!” I was being a bitch and I knew it but I was so emotionally drawn out, having had confrontations with two different people, less than an hour after I woke up.

Chelsea’s jaw dropped and she just looked at me. With tears in her eyes, she pushed past me and grabbed her purse. I felt horrible, and turned around to tell her that I didn’t mean it but it was too late. She rushed out the door and slammed it as hard as she could. 

I wanted to go after her but I just didn’t have the energy. I quickly sent her a text telling her how sorry I was and that I valued our friendship. That I behaved like a child and lashed out at her because I was upset with someone else. I promised that if she forgave me I would never act like that again.

I hit send and waited. After fifteen minutes when I still hadn’t heard back from her, I sent one last text saying “I’m sorry. I love you”. I headed to my bed. I needed to get some sleep before I had to go to work that night.

Hopefully by the time I would wake up there would be texts from both Chelsea and Brandon and everything would be ok.

 

A Camping We Will Go

I never heard from Brandon all weekend. I waited desperately all weekend, always keeping my phone by my side. I even convinced everyone I wasn’t feeling well on Saturday just so I could stay home in case he called. How pathetic is that. 

Sunday I picked up an extra shift at work as we were still down people. Sadly, it was a beautiful day and evening so it wasn’t very busy. Liam wasn’t even in to distract me. Thankfully because my job mostly has me interacting with the public I had to remain friendly. In reality all I wanted to do was be moody and eat everything in sight.

I even broke down and texted him again, sneaking my phone out as we weren’t technically allowed them on the floor. Again, I tried to keep it light and just asked what he was up to. When 11 pm came and still no response I was pissed. Then a minute later I was sad. This kept up for the rest of the night. When I finally got home and saw there was still no texts, I turned the phone off and chucked it on a pile of clothes. Within minutes I got up and grabbed it and turn it back on.  I resorted to trying to sleep but all I did was toss and turn all night. 

On Monday, it ended up that Tara, Chelsea and I were all off. After spending the day laying outside tanning, we hit the grocery store. We decided we wanted to do some planning for the camping trip and then have a Mexican night, complete with tacos and margaritas. 

When we came back, we went online and found a campsite that would allow a group and made a booking. We had decided we wanted to do an throwback theme for the weekend – perhaps how much fun we had at the bar the other night when they played the old school mix inspired us.

We created a menu to suit – hotdogs, s’mores, jello shots and a ton of other junk food from back when calories didn’t count. We also downloaded a ton of songs to make a playlist and thought up some games like twister, drunk Simon Says and Frisbee.

“Omg!!” Tara shrieked. “We have to play truth or dare! That’s the ultimate teen game!”

“Yeah but when we play that, people always get put on the spot and can’t think of anything good,” Chelsea said. “The dares are always lame.”

I thought for a moment. “What if we have people think of things in advance and write them down on pieces of paper. We can all secretly put them in separate truth or dare piles and then pick one out when it’s your go.”

“That could work,” Chelsea said thinking it through. “What will make it even better is that you may potentially pick your own so hopefully people won’t make the dares too bad!”

We uploaded our ideas to the facebook group and asked everyone for confirmations on who was coming. We were going in two weeks, so we needed to get this ball rolling. Within an hour or so we had a tentative list. Luckily everyone knew each other from various gatherings and birthday parties through the years.

For the girls: myself, Tara, Chelsea, Shelli – a pretty blond girl who was friends with us from high school and super friendly and Kelsey – another blond that worked with us at Chester’s, who was totally clueless at times but a blast to party with. The last girl sadly was Melissa. I only tolerate Melissa because she’s a friend of Kelsey’s but she’s a massive flirt and is always hanging off the guys. I’m not sure if the rumours about her sleeping around are true, but I wouldn’t doubt it for how boy crazy she is. “She better stay away from Liam!” I thought, and then I realised I had no claim on him. Where are these thoughts coming from?

The guys coming were Ryan (Tara’s cousin), his best friend James, Stephen and Gary – two of the part time bouncers at Chester’s. All very good looking and fit guys who were all easy going and fun. Lastly there were two who were tentative: Liam– he needed to see if he could ask for the weekend off, and Brandon – who I had yet to ask (and I never even told anyone I was hoping to invite).

We posted the truth or dare instructions to the group, and then went to the kitchen to make the tacos and margaritas. The more we discussed the trip the more excited we became. We tried thinking up some truth or dare questions, each one getting more extreme than the last. Easy to say the alcohol was already hitting us. We finished off the pitcher and made our way back to the living room and back on facebook.

We already had a ton of replies about the game idea.

Ryan: What are we, 12? If you ladies want to see me take my shirt off you just need to tell me, we don’t need to play games.

James: If you are stripping I’m not coming. Unless I can cover you in honey and then tie you to a tree for the bears

Kelsey: Do all bears like honey or just Pooh?

Ryan: Whatever @James. You know if I’m naked you will be begging to be in my tent

 

Tara: EWWW! @Ryan you are my cousin. You are not getting naked near me

Melissa: Hey @Ryan…I’ll share with you ;)

Alya: Woahhhh! When did this turn X-rated? This is supposed to be innocent fun like when we were 12 & 13

Gary: Speak for yourself @Alya…some of us were never innocent. Besides if Liam gets the weekend off and wants to get a little freaky I doubt any of you ladies will be complaining.

Liam: How did I get involved in this? BTW…I did get the time off. I’ll bring the beer!

Melissa: I’ll bring my bikini

Chelsea: I’ll bring some bail money. Who thought this was going to be a good idea?

We tried to do a bit more planning but the drinks were hindering any real progress so we settled for some trashy reality tv instead. Finally around 11 we headed to bed. Both of the girls had to work early and didn’t want to be hung over. 

I went on my phone to see if there was any more replies about the camping trip. Seeing none, I scrolled through the feeds for a moment and then got bored. I decided to look to see if Brandon had a profile – how had I not done this before?  I was able to find it quickly but it was private. Damn it! I was just trying to click on his friends list to see if any of those were open when I got a text from the man himself. I near jumped out of my skin. I know he can’t tell that I was trying to spy on him, but I felt like I had been caught red handed. I quickly exited facebook in fear that I may accidentally click “add friend” to someone on his list.

Brandon: Hey sexy. Whatcha wearing? ;)

I waited for a moment to see if he would write more. I hadn’t heard from him since Thursday, he never replied to either of my texts and now he was trying to flirt? When nothing came through, I finally texted back.

Alya: Just hanging out talking to some friends 

He didn’t know that I was mostly hanging out with them virtually!

Brandon: Anyone as cute as me?

Alya: Hmm I don’t know. Maybe. At least they talk to me.

My finger paused when I wrote that, then I figured “Screw it!” and hit send. I wanted to see what his excuse was.

Brandon: Aww don’t be like that. I’ve been busy working all weekend. The only thing I’ve seen is my desk and since you weren’t spread on top of it, it wasn’t overly exciting.

I couldn’t help it. I started to smile and get a little wet, thinking of the scenario he planted in my mind.

Alya: You poor thing. Maybe if you had texted me I could have paid you a visit, wearing nothing but a trench coat 

Brandon: Does that offer stand right now? I’m not at work but I do have a kitchen table

Alya: What? You don’t talk to me all weekend and then want me to come over at 11 pm? Whatever

Brandon: Come on. I said I was busy. I do run a company you know and I’m not off for the summer like some people

Ouch. Really? Why would he say that. It’s not like I was just some party bimbo. I was in school and by this time next year I expected to have a regular job like his. Plus I was working full time all summer, just in shifts. Not my fault I was younger than him.

Alya: Wow low blow dude

Brandon: I’m sorry. I’m just missing you. And now you had to go and use the word blow 

Brandon: Come over so I can make it up to you. Now I have this image of you on my table so I can’t sleep. I promise it won’t be pizza I’m eating

Oh god. Why was he able to get to me turned on so easy. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep either at this point and sexting held no appeal to me. Correcting typos as I typed in a rush annoyed me. Besides my hands had better things they could be doing.

Alya: Well now you went and mentioned pizza! Throw that in and you have a deal.

I waited for his his reply, and for the longest time there was nothing. I wondered if maybe he was just joking or if he fell asleep.

Suddenly the familiar “….” showed up. Then an image came on my phone. It was a picture of the confirmation of a delivery order from Pizza Hut.

I smiled and went in search on my trench coat. Ten minutes later I snuck out the door and made my way to his house.

Just like Bread

I was waiting for Brandon to make some plans for the weekend. I really wanted to ask him to go camping which I hoped would open a door about our relationship. Instead after we went two rounds he called me an Uber. I really didn’t like the feeling it gave me. 

After I had come out of the bathroom, I noticed that he was in bed with the sheets pulled up to his waist and he was typing on his phone. Without looking up he told me that the driver would be there in 5 minutes so I should hurry and get down stairs.

I just stood there for a moment, looking at him. When he finally noticed that I wasn’t getting ready he looked up at me. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

I just looked at him and then looked away. “Just looking for my shoes,” I lied. I know I should have said something but I felt weird. No, I felt discarded and used, but I was still scared to come off as desperate. I knew he had to work in the morning so I wasn’t too upset that he wanted some sleep, but I thought he would tell me he would see me soon. I waited for him to ask me about the weekend or make some sort of plans, but nothing.

His phone went off indicating the driver was downstairs. He got out of bed and walked me to his door. Leaning down he kissed my forehead and then told me to have a good night. I so bad wanted to say something but I didn’t. Anyone who saw me standing in that hallway would have questioned if I was on drugs. My hair was a mess, my shoes were in my hand and I was staring at his closed door like I was lost. I finally stumbled my way into the elevator and made my way home.

I woke up Friday feeling like shit. Not just from the alcohol I’d consumed, but that wasn’t helping either. I wanted to talk to someone so badly but I already knew the girls weren’t a huge fan of me being with Brandon. My friends at work weren’t much help because I never told anyone I had seen Brandon again since the first night, plus they were pro-Liam. I couldn’t exactly call my mom up and talk to her about the guy I was hooking up with. My brother may have been a possibility once in my life but not now. We never used to have any trouble talking about sex and relationships. In fact he tried to get me into a relationship with one of his best friends Landon. We were actually talking about making plans to go out when suddenly my brother freaked out and wouldn’t let us near each other. I guess he finally realized that if this went anywhere, his friend would be shagging his sister and he couldn’t handle that thought.

Going to the gym seemed to be my best option. I could work off some aggression and get out of my own head. Besides, my body was finally in the best shape it had ever been and I wanted to keep it that way. Working the hours I had planned this summer meant I wouldn’t always have free time to work out and I needed to get it in while I could.

After the gym, I ran a few errands – picking up a few groceries, dropping off a few things I needed mailed and then grabbed a salad to take home from lunch. I had purposely left my phone at home so I didn’t check it obsessively. I dropped all my stuff on the kitchen counter, then looked at my screen. One new message. I smiled and opened it, waiting to see what Brandon said. Only it wasn’t Brandon. It was Carla from work, asking if I could work longer tonight as she wanted to get off early. I sighed, typed in that I would and sat down to watch tv as I ate my food. 

I watched a few random daytime tv shows, had a shower and did my hair and make up and still no word from him. As I was getting ready to head off for work I quickly typed:

Alya: Miss you J Hope you are having a good Friday!

I know it’s sad but part of me just hoped he forgot we didn’t have plans. I figured it didn’t hurt to mention it was Friday.

Work was crazy busy but it kept me distracted. A few people had recently quit – people who were now done school and went home for the summer or those who moved on to better jobs. Plus there seemed to be an endless amount of things going wrong all night. One of the cash machines wouldn’t work, the nozzle for the draft beer kept getting stuck, we ran out of wings…the list just went on and on. 

When we finally closed for the night, we all just collapsed into the booths. We still had to restock and clean but no one had the energy. After a few drinks, some people started looking like they were going to fall asleep. Finally the night manager Jared made us all get up to finish our work. We all moaned but started moving. 

Liam stopped in front of the table I was sitting at and offered his hand to help pull me up. He slung his arm across my shoulders and walked with me to the bar.

“All my close duties are done,” he told me. “While you slackers were resting, I filed my incident reports, handed in my counts and clean up already. I will help you close down.” He had worked the door that night and the doormen's closing responsibilities were a lot less than anyone else’s. No one complained though – their job could get a lot more physical through the night and we knew they always had our backs if anyone caused trouble.

At that moment, with his arm around me, it would have taken nothing to lay my head on his shoulder and cuddle into him. It was soooo tempting but it also confused me. Why was this making me feel filled with anticipation. Anticipation for what? It was Brandon I wanted. Besides, this place is a rumour mill. If his arm stayed around me any longer, people would start to talk.

I ducked from under his arm with the guise of bending down to pick up the tray we used to stack the glasses and then send them through the dishwasher. I started gathering all the stuff that needed to be washed and tidying up the bar area. Liam looked at me for a moment then shrugged. He took a quick count of what needed to be refilled and then went off to gather what needed restocking.

We worked in silence until we were just about done. I told him I could take it from there and thanked him for helping me.

“No problem Alya.” He smiled. Then he stopped and turned towards me. “You know, I do like you but I won’t push myself on you. Either way I hope we can at least be friends. I hope I haven’t done anything to offend you.” He was looking at me questioningly, with his head slightly tilted to the side studying me. I suppose a guy like him didn’t get turned down often.

“No!! Not at all!” I exclaimed. “I think you are ho—wholesome, and umm nice and stuff!” Good grief Alya, nice recovery! Wholesome??? I couldn’t think of any other word to replace hot which was about to fall out of my mouth.

Liam scrunched up his face a bit and laughed. “Wholesome? Can’t say I’ve been described that way before. It sounds like how you describe a loaf of bread. Does this mean you think I’m squishy and crusty?”

I looked up at his smiling face and then down to his ripped body and blushed. 

“Umm no, no not at all,” I stuttered. “You are just a really nice guy and any girl would be lucky to have you.”

He just looked at me like he expected me to say more. Finally he winked at me, gave me one last smouldering look and said, “Well, then I guess I need to find that lucky lady!” He grabbed his stuff and said his goodbyes to everyone as he left.

Part of me wanted to follow him and tell him that I wanted to be that lucky lady. That one more look like that, and I would do whatever he wanted me too. But then I looked down and saw my phone and remembered Brandon.

Brandon. The one who never replied back to my miss you text. The one who dismissed me last night. The one who also arouses me like no other and makes me forget how to breathe. The one who I wanted to be with right now, but who apparently didn’t need to be with me.

I sighed, clocked out and made my way home. To my own bed. Alone.

Pepperoni for All

Turns out, there was no firing squad waiting for me when I got in. Tara and Chelsea were sitting in the living room watching a movie. I saw Tara raise her eyebrow as I came in, but Chelsea gave her a slight shake of the head and nothing was said.

I went and had a quick shower while they finished the movie and then joined them in the living room. We started talking about some plans we wanted to do for the summer. We all know after this summer is over, things will be changing for us. By next year we should all be out being adults with big girl jobs, fingers crossed. No more lazy summer days or extended holidays.

“Why don’t we go camping?” Chelsea offered up. “We can get a big group together and put up big group tents. Co-ed sleep overs are always much more fun!”

“If we are having one last blow out, I want it somewhere that I can actually get a blow out!” Tara countered. “Somewhere like Vegas!!”

They began a friendly banter, pointing out the positives of their trip and the negatives of the opposite one. I wasn’t sure what one I really preferred. I actually do like camping, especially when you get the right group together.  It’s always a good time cooking meals, drinking, and sitting around the campfire telling stories.

On the other hand, - I LOVE Vegas. It’s always such a fun time and with so much to do it doesn’t matter if people bail. Vegas can fit everyone’s budget and there there is no way we will ever get bored or rained out. Tough call.

“What about both?” I suggested. “We can go camping soon because it’s not as hard to organise. Then maybe right at the end of summer, we hit Vegas for a few days. One last hurrah before it’s back to school?”

The girls pondered this idea and then nodded in agreement. We thought about it for a while, and played with some dates until we had some tentative plans. I couldn’t wait. I loved to travel and even though these  weren’t exactly exotic trips, it would be with people I loved and I knew it would be a blast.

“So who are we inviting?” I asked. I made it seem like it was just a casual question but really I wanted to know if there was going to be an issue inviting Brandon. This was my chance to get a better idea on where we stood.

They started naming some people like Ryan, Tara’s cousin and his best friend James, a few girls we still were in touch with from high school, and then some people from Chester’s. The list was getting bigger and bigger, so we finally decided to just make a facebook group and make it an open invitation. I figured since this was open to all, there was no reason I couldn’t ask Brandon.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I worked the open shift. It sucked getting up early but the bar was a lot less busy and they wanted to ease me in more. We never be worked alone but they still needed to know I could handle the crowds; the big group orders and as well still keep an eye on the customers.

By now everyone knew that Liam had asked me out and that I had also turned him down. It was great working in a place where we were all friends but the downside was that there was no hiding anything, especially anything juicy. The girls thought I was absolutely crazy to say no and to be honest I wasn’t sure that I didn’t agree. Every time I saw Liam I couldn’t help but admire him from afar. We weren’t avoiding each other or anything, but our shifts didn’t match up or he would be working in another position aside from the bar which he did from time to time to build up his hours. Perhaps I was stupid for not giving Liam a chance but I had never experienced what I was feeling with Brandon. It was exciting and I loved the thrill of being with him.

Speaking of Brandon we had been doing our normal texting all week. I really wanted to ask him about coming camping but I wanted to do it in person so I could gauge his reaction. I was hoping he was going to ask me to do something this week but so far we had no plans. I knew I could ask him but I still felt a little timid and didn’t want to come off as clingy. Why is it we girls always need to second guess every move we make?

By the time Thursday came around the girls were demanding  I come out with them. I was really hoping to have plans with Brandon but since he didn’t ask, I couldn’t keep putting off the girls with no reason. I didn’t want to tell them I was waiting for him because I hate the thought of being that girl. Both Tara and Chelsea were eager to go out though and wouldn’t let me wait by my phone. Neither one of them was dating anyone at the moment, but I think both were hoping for a little summer romance. 

I really didn’t want to put much effort into getting ready but Chelsea made me put on a skater dress I had recently ordered online.  It definitely added sex appeal from the loose tank top and shorts I had wanted to wear, along with flat sandals.

Have you ever had one of those nights where you didn’t plan on being out, and didn’t think it would be a good time but in the end it’s one of the best nights ever? That’s how the night turned out,  I guess it’s because there are no expectations. As soon as we got there, we went to the bar to get a drink. Just as the bartender placed the drinks in front of us the DJ started playing a fantastic old school mix so of course we had to hit the dance floor. I didn’t want to have a good time but they just kept playing the most amazing blast-from-the-past songs that we could barely leave the dance floor. We were singing along acting like fools, trying to remember all the dance steps. 

Of course, with all that dancing we were getting pretty thirsty so the drinks started flowing. By the end of the night I couldn’t even tell you how many we had, or even how many we had bought for us. Tara was flirting pretty heavily with some guy who introduced himself as Anthony and who insisted on buying us drinks all night. I tried to decline but she seemed into him and he truly didn’t seem to mind, even laughing at me when I did try to pay.

Chelsea and I finally took a break and headed to the bathroom. By this time we were not quite steady on our feet and  there was only a half hour left before the bar closed. We decided we were at the point we needed food and we wanted to head out before the crowd so we didn’t have to wait for a slice of pizza. We found Tara and asked if she was coming with us. She didn’t look happy to leave but Anthony slipped her his number and kissed her before we left so all was not lost.

We helped each other walk to the Big Slice, and groaned when we saw all the tables were full and there was a little line. We debated just leaving but we all knew we needed some food or tomorrow would be a horrible day. Suddenly Chelsea’s eyes widened as she looked over my shoulder. I turned around to see what she was looking at and landed right in Brandon’s arms. He chuckled as I stumbled, then stumbled himself as I flung myself into his arms. He looked so damn sexy in his white dress shirt with his dark hair. 

“What are you doing here sexy? “ I slurred. 

“I’m just on the hunt for drunken damsels in distress.” Brandon grinned. “And you three look like you fit that description.”

We tried to deny it but even my best acting skills couldn’t hide the fact we were far from sober. It didn’t help when Tara asked a table beside us if she could sit with them because her feet hurt.

“My buddies  and I have a table – would you ladies like to join us? We were just about to grab some slices ourselves.” He led us over to a table and introduced his friends, John and Clarke. Chelsea and Tara slid in on side beside John. 

Rather than joining the table Brandon reached for my hand and offered to go get pizza for everyone. Have you ever had a table of drunken people screaming at you for what toppings they wanted? Not fun. Finally Brandon told them it was “Pepperoni for all!!” as we walked away. Only rather than heading for the line-up, he pointed us down a short hallway with a bunch of doors, that I assume led the kitchen and bathrooms. He suddenly pulled me through a doorway and into a little alley and took me into his arms.

The surprise of the moment caught me off guard and within seconds he had me pushed up against the wall. We were all over each other, kissing and groping like a bunch of teenagers. We accidentally bumped into some garbage cans making a lid fall off and crash. Even in my inebriated state I remembered where we were.

“Aren’t they going to wonder where we are?” I asked him as I played with the buttons on his shirt.

He started nipping at my neck, and grinding into me. He mumbled something about our friends thinking we were in the line-up and the sensation of his breath in my ear near pushed me over the edge.

He stared heavily at my chest and used his fingers to trace over the lines criss crossing across my cleavage. His hands then made their way down my sides until they reached the hem of my dress. Using one hand he undid his zipper and pulled his cock out. Still holding it with one hand he used the other to slightly lift my dress up and started rubbing against me. I know we were in some dirty alley, and I know my friends were right inside, but it felt so good and I didn't care.

Reaching down with his free hand he pushed my panties aside, and began inserting first one, then two fingers inside me. I was becoming louder, starting to moan and cry out , so he silenced me with another searing kiss. I felt like I was seeing stars.

Slowly my brain came into focus that he was pulling away from me. There was no way I wanted to stop and was ready to do anything he wanted. That's when I realised that he didn't have any protection on and there was no way we were continuing without it. 

"God damn it!" he growled and smacked his hand on the brick wall. I felt so disappointed and unsatisfied. Then I looked at him, smiled and licked my lips. 

"There are other ways you know..." I said seductively. I squatted down, thankful for once that I was wearing heels which would help keep me higher off the ground. I tentatively licked his shaft and then felt him shudder.He pushed himself into my mouth and began running his fingers through my hair. That was all it took. Back there in that nasty, dark alley I gave him a blow job that he would remember all his life. Well at least I would remember it for sure. It was so sexy and forbidden that it just made it that much better.

After when we both were able to stand, he leaned in and kissed my forehead. Wrapping his arm around my waist he lead us back inside. While I was left hanging, I knew we had to get back to our friends and in my drunk state I wasn't sure if 5 minutes had passed or 30. Luckily we were able to get back inside just  as there was no line at the counter. They were pulling out a full pizza ready to be sliced. 

Brandon pulled out a $50, passed it to the cashier and asked them to box the whole pie. We walked back over to the table where Clarke was telling a story and cracking everyone up...Well Chelsea and John at least...Tara looked like she was half passed out.

He placed the box on the table, grabbed us each a slice and told everyone to have a good night. We ran outside and hailed a taxi. Safe to say it wasn't long before we were back at his house and now it was my turn. I guess I am glad I went out after all.

 

Making My Own Choices

“You told him no??!?” Tara screamed in disbelief. 

It was Sunday morning and the girls and I were having brunch. This was the first time we had all really been able to get together since I left the bar with Brandon the first night. We all had so much to catch up on. I had told them all the juicy details of my dates with Brandon so far. Normally I am a pretty private person about sex, but then again I never usually had anything exciting to talk about.

I had just told the girls about turning Liam down and they were not very happy with me to say the least. I think Tara’s outburst caused at least half the tables near us to turn and stare.

“Could you be any louder?” I hissed under my breath. I know I don’t really need to defend myself or my actions to anyone, well unless I was asking for their help and advice, which I was. “Well, I like Brandon,” I started. “I just don’t want him to think I don’t if he see me out some night with someone else.”

Tara and Chelsea looked at each other, and then back at me.

“Alya, you have been on two dates with this guy. I think you are getting way ahead of yourself.” Chelsea stated. “I mean, do you guys even know much about each other or has everything just been about sex?”

“I don’t understand,” I commented back. “I thought you guys were all for me finding someone new and moving on. Isn’t that what I am doing?” I grabbed the vodka and orange juice I was drinking – don’t judge, at least there was orange juice, and took a long drink.

“We wanted you to look for a rebound or a distraction. Not to boink some guy and then latch on to him, even if he is hot!” exclaimed Tara, with her usual grace and sensitivity. “Liam is a total catch though so perfect for you. Take it slow and get to know him and maybe don’t get under this one quite so fast.”

Tears started to well up in my eyes. All these dating do’s and don’ts were just too complicated for me. If I like someone, then I  shouldn’t sleep with him, because he will just use me. But it’s ok to use another guy, and sleep with him just to get over someone else. Perhaps there was a reason I stayed in a shitty relationship for so long.

“I think what Tara meant Al, was that you are moving pretty fast with Brandon. I know we said we were going out to get you some action that night but to be honest that was just a figure of speech. I’ve never seen you jump into something with someone so fast and usually those don’t turn into relationships.” Chelsea tried to explain.

I was getting more frustrated the more the conversation went on. “You guys are the ones who said to find someone new! That’s what I did and now you think I’m some slut” Just like Peter said, I thought to myself. I took another long drink of the vodka and oj and looked for the waitress to order another.

“Alya,” Chelsea said as she wrapped her arm around me, “I would never call you a slut. You are one of my best friends and I know you inside out. All we want is for you to be happy.” She looked at Tara for confirmation, and after Tara nodded, Chelsea continued. “Just go a little slower. Explore what’s out there and decided what it is that you want. Don’t jump into something new just because he’s there.”

I nodded my head to indicate that I understood and agreed and changed the subject. As they discussed who was at the bar on Friday night and what went on, I couldn’t help but let me mind wander. Normally I trusted my friends but this time I thought they were wrong. Being with Brandon was amazing and how he made me feel so different than anything I ever had with anyone else. Not that there had been may others – just Peter and one boyfriend in high school.

Maybe it was wrong but I liked the way Brandon seemed to be so in control and how he knew the right ways to excite me. I was never really into that Fifty Shades of Grey stuff but now that I had been with someone who took the lead I was beginning to see the benefits. I think for once I was going to make a decision on my own and take a chance on where this was going, rather than dating around. Besides the thought of needing to download Tinder scared me!

……………………………………………………………………..

The next week flew by. I finally finished everything I needed to do for my law clerk program so I was now off for the summer. Brandon had to work all week so I didn’t get to see him. He told me he was super busy with some projects that he was working on and wouldn’t be able to text much. Still I was disappointed when I barely heard from him all week. Maybe the girls were right.

I was feeling low and pouting on Friday night, so I decided to have a shower and then go to sleep.  I was just getting into bed when I had a text from Brandon:

Brandon: So I am laying here in bed and I’m pretty lonely. Care to keep me company?

Alya: I’m pretty sure you could fill that space with your choice of girls if you really wanted to. Or perhaps you wouldn’t have to be so lonely if you had texted me all week

Brandon: Sorry sweetheart. Its been a busy week but I was thinking of you. Mostly thinking of all the things I could be doing to you if I wasn’t stuck at work.

Alya: oh…Well I am in bed so maybe share some of those ideas with me so I can tell you if they are good ideas or not

Brandon: You are in bed? Oh god. Now I am picturing you spread out like you were on my bed that first night, looking over your shoulder at me.

Alya: You liked that?

Brandon: I think like is an understatement. Nearly all my fantasies now start with you giving me that come fuck me look.

Alya:……….

Brandon: Hello?

Brandon: Alya are you still there?

Brandon: Don’t leave me hanging like this…

Alya: Sorry…I was just packing a bag. I’ll be there soon.

As soon as I hit send, I finished cramming stuff in my overnight bag. I slipped into the first cute underwear  set I could find, covered it with a sundress and some flip flops. I grabbed my phone, turned out the lights and headed out the door.

Brandon and I spent most of the rest of the weekend in bed, only getting out to order take away or shower, although Brandon did use his phone from time to time, I assume to check in with work stuff. Sunday he finally made us get dressed and we went to a diner he knew where we ordered the most amazing burgers ever, along with fries, onion rings and mozza sticks. Horrible junk food but after the massive work out I had, I wasn’t too worried about the calories.

He finally dropped me off at my house around 9:30. As he was kissing me goodbye he told me we would make plans to hang out again later in the week. I wanted to ask him right then what this was but I couldn’t. He’s so much older than me and I didn’t want to come off like some little girl sending him a note saying “Will you be my boyfriend, check yes or no”.  I decided to just hope he felt the same way and wait to hear from him.

I kissed him once more, and thanked him for good weekend. As I slipped out of his car, he checked out my ass and grinned. “Perhaps I should be the one thanking you!” I groaned. He was so cheesy and his lines were horrible, but I can’t lie. It made me smile and gave me hope. I turned and headed into the apartment, ready for the bitch session that was coming for being MIA all weekend.