Making My Own Choices

“You told him no??!?” Tara screamed in disbelief. 

It was Sunday morning and the girls and I were having brunch. This was the first time we had all really been able to get together since I left the bar with Brandon the first night. We all had so much to catch up on. I had told them all the juicy details of my dates with Brandon so far. Normally I am a pretty private person about sex, but then again I never usually had anything exciting to talk about.

I had just told the girls about turning Liam down and they were not very happy with me to say the least. I think Tara’s outburst caused at least half the tables near us to turn and stare.

“Could you be any louder?” I hissed under my breath. I know I don’t really need to defend myself or my actions to anyone, well unless I was asking for their help and advice, which I was. “Well, I like Brandon,” I started. “I just don’t want him to think I don’t if he see me out some night with someone else.”

Tara and Chelsea looked at each other, and then back at me.

“Alya, you have been on two dates with this guy. I think you are getting way ahead of yourself.” Chelsea stated. “I mean, do you guys even know much about each other or has everything just been about sex?”

“I don’t understand,” I commented back. “I thought you guys were all for me finding someone new and moving on. Isn’t that what I am doing?” I grabbed the vodka and orange juice I was drinking – don’t judge, at least there was orange juice, and took a long drink.

“We wanted you to look for a rebound or a distraction. Not to boink some guy and then latch on to him, even if he is hot!” exclaimed Tara, with her usual grace and sensitivity. “Liam is a total catch though so perfect for you. Take it slow and get to know him and maybe don’t get under this one quite so fast.”

Tears started to well up in my eyes. All these dating do’s and don’ts were just too complicated for me. If I like someone, then I  shouldn’t sleep with him, because he will just use me. But it’s ok to use another guy, and sleep with him just to get over someone else. Perhaps there was a reason I stayed in a shitty relationship for so long.

“I think what Tara meant Al, was that you are moving pretty fast with Brandon. I know we said we were going out to get you some action that night but to be honest that was just a figure of speech. I’ve never seen you jump into something with someone so fast and usually those don’t turn into relationships.” Chelsea tried to explain.

I was getting more frustrated the more the conversation went on. “You guys are the ones who said to find someone new! That’s what I did and now you think I’m some slut” Just like Peter said, I thought to myself. I took another long drink of the vodka and oj and looked for the waitress to order another.

“Alya,” Chelsea said as she wrapped her arm around me, “I would never call you a slut. You are one of my best friends and I know you inside out. All we want is for you to be happy.” She looked at Tara for confirmation, and after Tara nodded, Chelsea continued. “Just go a little slower. Explore what’s out there and decided what it is that you want. Don’t jump into something new just because he’s there.”

I nodded my head to indicate that I understood and agreed and changed the subject. As they discussed who was at the bar on Friday night and what went on, I couldn’t help but let me mind wander. Normally I trusted my friends but this time I thought they were wrong. Being with Brandon was amazing and how he made me feel so different than anything I ever had with anyone else. Not that there had been may others – just Peter and one boyfriend in high school.

Maybe it was wrong but I liked the way Brandon seemed to be so in control and how he knew the right ways to excite me. I was never really into that Fifty Shades of Grey stuff but now that I had been with someone who took the lead I was beginning to see the benefits. I think for once I was going to make a decision on my own and take a chance on where this was going, rather than dating around. Besides the thought of needing to download Tinder scared me!

……………………………………………………………………..

The next week flew by. I finally finished everything I needed to do for my law clerk program so I was now off for the summer. Brandon had to work all week so I didn’t get to see him. He told me he was super busy with some projects that he was working on and wouldn’t be able to text much. Still I was disappointed when I barely heard from him all week. Maybe the girls were right.

I was feeling low and pouting on Friday night, so I decided to have a shower and then go to sleep.  I was just getting into bed when I had a text from Brandon:

Brandon: So I am laying here in bed and I’m pretty lonely. Care to keep me company?

Alya: I’m pretty sure you could fill that space with your choice of girls if you really wanted to. Or perhaps you wouldn’t have to be so lonely if you had texted me all week

Brandon: Sorry sweetheart. Its been a busy week but I was thinking of you. Mostly thinking of all the things I could be doing to you if I wasn’t stuck at work.

Alya: oh…Well I am in bed so maybe share some of those ideas with me so I can tell you if they are good ideas or not

Brandon: You are in bed? Oh god. Now I am picturing you spread out like you were on my bed that first night, looking over your shoulder at me.

Alya: You liked that?

Brandon: I think like is an understatement. Nearly all my fantasies now start with you giving me that come fuck me look.

Alya:……….

Brandon: Hello?

Brandon: Alya are you still there?

Brandon: Don’t leave me hanging like this…

Alya: Sorry…I was just packing a bag. I’ll be there soon.

As soon as I hit send, I finished cramming stuff in my overnight bag. I slipped into the first cute underwear  set I could find, covered it with a sundress and some flip flops. I grabbed my phone, turned out the lights and headed out the door.

Brandon and I spent most of the rest of the weekend in bed, only getting out to order take away or shower, although Brandon did use his phone from time to time, I assume to check in with work stuff. Sunday he finally made us get dressed and we went to a diner he knew where we ordered the most amazing burgers ever, along with fries, onion rings and mozza sticks. Horrible junk food but after the massive work out I had, I wasn’t too worried about the calories.

He finally dropped me off at my house around 9:30. As he was kissing me goodbye he told me we would make plans to hang out again later in the week. I wanted to ask him right then what this was but I couldn’t. He’s so much older than me and I didn’t want to come off like some little girl sending him a note saying “Will you be my boyfriend, check yes or no”.  I decided to just hope he felt the same way and wait to hear from him.

I kissed him once more, and thanked him for good weekend. As I slipped out of his car, he checked out my ass and grinned. “Perhaps I should be the one thanking you!” I groaned. He was so cheesy and his lines were horrible, but I can’t lie. It made me smile and gave me hope. I turned and headed into the apartment, ready for the bitch session that was coming for being MIA all weekend.